A year ago, I was faced with the terrifying possibility of moving to a University so far away from home and comfort and round-the-clock nachos – an opportunity that I was desperate to accept but also regard with suspicion because, you see, I’m not a person of the outernet. It was a chance I had to take without knowing what exactly the consequences would be.
But I took it anyway.
And, I realized, that it is indeed true what Mikhail Bulgakov said – “Everything will turn out right, the world is built on that.”
And you can still get round-the-clock nachos.
At the gates that stood
Powerful and looming
I waited,
Uncertain,
The roar of the sea of activity
An (un)welcome reminder
Of the life
Lying in wait.
Ushering in
The excitement
I ran inside
Trying to be different
From myself –
“Hello”,
“How are you”,
“I’m –“
You stop short.
“I’m not an extrovert”.
The new is terrifying,
And even more so
When every time you think of it
Your nerves
Rattle
Like never before;
Tell yourself
That it’s okay for them
To behave as if
The wind was picking them
Apart.
Tell yourself that
It’s valid
For you to be out all day
And to sit
Spinning
Between one thought and next,
Thinking
You’re in over your head,
And still
Be
Normal.
You do not have to
Spend all your time
Being one
Or the
Other.
Tell yourself
That you’re not at fault
For not being able to thrive
The way
Others do –
Tell yourself
You don’t have to imagine
Those who do
To be fanged vampires
Who have risen from the dead
Only to leave you tired.
Tell yourself
That it is
And always will be
Okay
For you to be you
And,
As Vonnegut said,
“There’s only one rule I know of –
You’ve got to be kind.
