Written by: Aira Dutta
Edited by: Aaliya Ashwin
People create connections and social support systems with one another and term it “human
relationships.” Relationships can also be connections formed between individuals based on
emotional or social bonds. They provide a sense of belonging and allow us to avoid situations of
isolation. Individuals develop the sense and need to form relationships from infancy which further grows to become one of the innate needs of human bond formation.
We all have a picture of how we want our relationships to be whether it is a romantic relationship, a platonic one or a professional one and we all try to project these expectations by treating others in the manner we want to be treated. While doing so, in many instances, the actions become one-sided and our expectations remain unfulfilled which further leads to barriers as we don’t feel as satisfied with the relationship as we want to be. Such situations most likely lead to toxic relationships. Building healthy relationships is crucial as it allows room for personal growth and development which helps us build a strong foundation for safe and lasting
relationships.
A solid foundation might guarantee a long-lasting relationship, but often, even though a person may have come from a difficult place at first, they go on to build a stronger foundation, which makes the partnership even more resilient. A foundation should have essential components, such
as honesty, respect, communication, trust, and much more.
The context and background of an individual impacts their bonds. For example, their past experiences or history with other people. We enter new relationships with high expectations and a positive outlook on people if our previous experiences were generally fulfilling and positive; if not, it might influence how we see our current relationship. Other such aspects can include culture. A relationship is highly influenced by how they might be perceived by the individual’s
culture and other societal expectations which shape them.
If we look at relationships through a psychological or emotional perspective we will find that humans forming romantic relationships is not only due to the age-old motive of continuing our legacy but rather it also involves the need to form attachments, share personal and emotional load, responsibilities, avoid situations of isolation and much more. We know that humans are social beings and are often trying to build relationships with people to connect and form
attachments whether romantic or platonic. As a result, in the case of romantic relationships we often tend to chase the feeling of “falling in love” which makes us feel different in a positive way. It is usually accompanied with a racing heart, excitement, nervousness, and an exceptional feeling of being on cloud nine. It pushes us to see the bright side of things and gives us space to forget a little about the stressful and intolerable aspects of our busy lives. With the feeling of
being in love being so bright it can happen that we might ignore the other side, which consists of obstacles one has to come across to make the relationship a successful one.
Each and every relationship has its ups and downs. People in a relationship must learn to resolve conflicts collaboratively and allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other, otherwise known as conflict resolution. However, more often than not, an individual’s inability to resolve conflicts in their relationships is what’s seen as the ultimate obstacle and it is what leads to them parting ways without working on their differences.
Equality in relationships is another context in which relationships can be viewed which helps us understand them better. In this context, it means having the freedom to express one’s concerns regarding the relationship or the other person, without having to give it second thoughts if it is
for the betterment of both the parties and their connection.
As we talk about the various dimensions of a relationship, something that is very crucial now that people have begun to take into consideration, is the concept of relationship therapy or couples therapy which means therapeutic strategies designed to address problems that arise in a
relationship. It aims to improve intimacy difficulties, connection, bond and communication. A therapist, in this setting, acts as a mediator.
Many couples avoid relationship counselling and deny having problems because they might perceive their relationship to be healthy and successful even though there are clear signs that indicate otherwise. Doing so only aggravates existing problems.
People might render a relationship successful based on how it seems externally without knowing what the couple is actually going through. The intrinsic part of a relationship is only known to the people involved in the relationship and others only get to see what the couple wishes to show them. It can be said that it is indeed difficult to measure the success of a relationship because where does the measurements lie, is it the effective communication between them, can it be whether they trust each other, whether they are affectionate towards each other, can they resolve
arguments or whether they are loyal to one another? Relationships consist of a wide array of aspects which have to be considered to measure a relationship. We also do not know at what point it is viable to measure a relationship, is it days, weeks, months or years? All of these questions and doubts make it rather difficult to declare a relationship successful.
