If My Laundry Bag Could Speak - by Hedwig

This is the first poem in a series of poems that explore what the commonplace objects in a student’s life would say if they underwent an Enid Blyton-esque change overnight, and could speak.

If my Laundry Bag could speak,

It would, first, cough up some dirty clothes

And some torn sheets of paper before

Clearing its throat

And screaming;

It would say I’m abusive,

That I neglect and dirty until

My closet’s count of clothes is nil

While the bag sits

Still clearly weeping;

The phrase

“I’ll give my laundry tomorrow”

Puts it in perpetual sorrow

Because it knows that “tomorrow”

Never really comes;

It hangs heavy meanwhile,

Bearing the weight of dirty shirts

With a smile –

Tougher than an Amazonian crocodile

With thumbs;

I would sit by its side

And offer some comfort

But I suspect it would be nothing but curt –

Apologies I would have to blurt

Until it softens;

I’ll resist pride and admit –

If my Laundry Bag could speak,

And could remind me regularly,

I would wash my clothes aggressively and

More often.