Life in University can be stressful. But even otherwise, have there even been those people who get on your nerves – for some or no reason at all? Have there ever been instances where you’ve felt your head split open with hate and then you go ‘whoa where did that come from’. Have you ever been Human?
Well, congratulations, if you’re still reading. For one, you’ll learn how to deal with your inner Godzilla successfully and, for another, you’re not from Mars. I mean, have you seen that place? It has no life.
*All stunts mentioned below have been tried and tested by professionals. Please do not try them alone at home*
*In no way am I a scientist but then again I did 12th grade CBSE science so… Yep, no, definitely not a scientist*
#1 Down glass after glass of ice water the way I eat bowl after bowl of home-made yogurt with chilli pickle and vathakozhambu (South India represent).
#2 Run. Run as far as your legs can carry you. And then run some more. Do your feet burn?Too bad. Is there a dead end at the end of the road? Too bad. Is there a vegetable vendor in your war? Too bad. Make like a Kollywood movie and karate-chop your way through all of them.
#3 Stare at distant objects and write diary entries from their perspective. For example: Hi, I’m a Tree. Currently I’m 500 kilometres from here and my Professor is not annoying me.
#1 Think of the baby sun from Teletubbies.
#2 Wonder how old she is now.
#3 Do a quick Google search.
#4 Get lost in your own thoughts about how fast time passes and about how old you’ve gotten.
#5 Wake up at 5 AM to try and do Power Yoga because now that you’ve paid for the classes you actually have to. Realize that Power Yoga does not work anyway.
#6 EAT. ALL. THE. FOOD. I’m talking triple layer bacon cheeseburger with ice cream and ranch dipped in fried Nutella oreos. And of course you’ll have fries on the side. With ketchup and pepperoni pizza because why not.
#7 Stare at the United Nations Logo for 10 minutes. Realize that you have other things to be angry about, like world peace.
#8 Read the terms and conditions before installing software instead of just clicking ‘Agree’, you blind consumer, you.
#9 Convert to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster and marry a nice person who will keep you calm during these trying times.
#10 Kill someone.
Warning: Side effects of #10 may include arrest, jail, and the accidental discovery that you’re a serial killer.