It was a rather dull Monday morning and one of those usual high school days, where your alarm goes off and you think to yourself, do I really need education?
After a lot of struggling to get out of bed, here I was in class trying to make sense of the graph on the board but the only thought in my head was of the evening that was waiting to unfold.
Goodbyes are never easy, but for some, sending a beloved older sibling off to college is downright painful. Parting from someone who has seen me from the time that I wore puffy bunny tails and lace edged socks was very heartbreaking and I was definitely not looking forward to it. I don’t think anyone can understand just how great my relationship with my sister is and sometimes, I don’t even think she does.
Owing to her inquisitive soul and her courage to buffet against the tide of difficulties and competition, my sister was a true achiever and that was the day that she was leaving to college to pursue her higher education.
The previous day she had asked me about how happy I was now that I could have the room all to myself and that I wouldn’t have to share any of my things. On the surface, there were easy answers to her questions. But my sister unknowingly unleashed a hornet’s nest of angst in one simple sentence — so much so that I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that in the next few hours, she will be gone and no longer by my side and thus I stepped into the vast wasteland of my emotions on the topic of my sister.
I’ve always believed the universe sends people signals when they most need them. On this day, I thought the universe must be drunk because this wasn’t the right signal. I didn’t want the universe telling me to be independent and start living my own life.
But like expected, she was soon gone to explore her new life and here I was trying to get my old one back. Our customary chai-gossip sessions turned into long hour facetime calls and our shopping sprees turned into sending online shopping links to each other. It was truly tougher than having a long distance boyfriend!
And then came the part where the universe decided to send me to North India and take me away from the one source that had safeguarded and sustained me- my parents. My mother, like almost every other mother lectured me about being in my boundaries and keeping my values and morals intact.
I figured I’d think about the values part later.
Surprisingly this change was a good change. I was happy about being surrounded by so many happy souls, each having their own story. Life was giving me some pretty good moments but my sister was always being missed.
I didn’t have a tidy answer to her question that day. But I know I’m going to miss her because I am starting to let myself feel it, no matter how hard I try to resist and how few times I say it. I know we are sisters because we are breathtakingly imperfect in our sameness. I remember how she would get me hooked on to TV shows and how a million years ago, she made me watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S for the first time and how we were so obsessed with, “I’ll be there for you”
The lyrics held true for her and I suddenly think they have held true for me, too.
Who knew how tough having a long distance sibling would be?
